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Alright, I’ve had it! It is time to take a stand on what’s what in the world of lady health, and I need you with me. We have to make sure that we’re not buying into, parroting or perpetuating even more BS about what’s best for our sex lives, boobs, genitalia or hygiene. So without further ado, let’s get a few things straight.

-Douching is a no-no. There has been a lot of hullabaloo about a new Summer’s Eve ad that is titled, “Confidence at Work: How to Ask For a Raise” (see left). They claim they know what can really help you smash that glass ceiling: Manmade contraptions and chemicals used to wash your cooch, of course! …But, no. No, it isn’t. Don’t we all know that? When I heard about it, I thought, “Um, what? Why does that product even exist anymore? Who out there still thinks it is a good idea to douche?” I thought we all knew this by now—douching is generally not recommended, as it can adversely affect the body’s natural balance of bacteria, leading to vaginal infection and other problems. So, yes, this ad is totally ridiculous, but even more wild and crazy to me that there’s even a market for Summer’s Eve. Hey you, Mary Sue! The 21st century called—it wants you to walk away from the douche bag…

-Big mouths speaking out on breastfeeding. Please shut up, Gisele, and anyone else who thinks they know what is best for every single woman. Just stick to what works for you, mm’k?

The Kardashian girls may have a lot of sisterly love—but apparently not the correct vocab for their vajayjays.

-Vulva, vulva, vulva! OK, I don’t care if you think it’s school marmy. I’m a writer, so right there, you know why I’m a bit of a stickler for correct grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. Also, I heart me some correct terminology. And I’m personally super-annoyed when women refer to their own gorgeous genitalia with the wrong name. A perfect example in the news: Kim Kardashian was quoted as saying, “I don’t know, I never looked at [sister Khloe’s] vagina. I thought it was, like, a shaved rashy vagina.” Ehhh! Sorry, Kim. You’d need a speculum to really see your sister’s vagina. It’s her red, bumpy bikini line that you must be referring to…or if she gets Brazilians, maybe it’s her vulva. That’s the outer part. I really hope it’s not her vagina. (Ooouchhh.) Bottom-line: If you’re not going to call it by it’s correct name, at least use something fun—like “honey pot” or “lady business.”

-Myths or missing info about birth control. This is a huge umbrella under there is one really nasty storm is going on. One golfball-sized piece of hail… The idea that the Withdrawal Method or “pulling out” is hands-down, no questions asked an express ticket to being called Ma-ma. The reality of it is that coitus interruptus is nearly as effective as condoms. That’s good news for many responsible, monogamous couples who trust one another and are in tune with their bodies. Then there is the missing info (and sometimes straight-up lies) about ParaGard, the copper-T, nonhormonal IUD. Some resources won’t mention it to you if you’re young and unmarried. Some dishonest practitioners will shoo you out of their examining room if you tell them you’re interested in using it instead of the Pill. (Really, you ask? Stay tuned. My sister will report on a personal experience in a future post…) The truth is that the IUD can be inserted in younger women who haven’t had a baby, and it is safe, 99% effective, good for up to 10 years and a stellar choice for birth control especially if you’re in a monogamous relationship.

Ok, now it’s your turn. What totally un-sexy trend would you like to blow the whistle on?

As you probably know, I’m not a fan of the Pill for my own use, and I’m a firm believer that other women should get all the facts on the drug before taking it or continuing to use it year after year. Well, here are some more facts to add fuel to the anti-oral contraceptive fire. According to a story in the New York Post, actress Brenda Hamilton, who is an understudy in the Broadway musical Wicked, is suing Yasmin and Yaz manufacturer, Bayer. Why? She says that Yasmin caused her to have a stroke at the age of 27. Hamilton had no history of any health problems at the time of her stroke.

(Photo via youthnoise.com)

 

Apparently, Bayer and the FDA have cited studies (two of which were funded by Bayer), which claim that Yasmin doesn’t increase the risk of blood clots. However, a recent study in The British Medical Journal found that women using Yasmin or Yaz, both formulated with a synthetic version of progesterone called drospirenone, were 6.3 times more likely to develop venous thrombosis, or blood clots, than women who were not taking any Pill. (Those taking any birth control pill were five times more likely, on average, to develop blood clots.) The increased risk with Yasmin or Yaz may be due to drospirenone’s action as a diuretic that thickens the blood to promote clotting. 

It is important to note that in this study, the women taking Yasmin/Yaz may have had various risk factors (like being over 35 or carrying excess weight) that contributed to the finding. Other factors that may perpetuate blood clots include family history, high blood pressure or smoking. Nonetheless, Hamilton didn’t have any of these risk factors…

The actress is one of over a thousand Americans suing Bayer, claiming their birth control pills caused serious or life-threatening health problems. Two class-action suits were also filed in Canada.

I figure I don’t need to editorialize here – these are just the facts. And knowledge is power, right?

Further reading: Some info on the nonhormonal IUD, Paragard and critically-acclaimed condoms.

In 1960, the USDA approved a little drug that made a big difference in the lives of many women. According to The Chicago Tribune, thanks to the birth control pill: “the percentage of women who died as a result of pregnancy dropped by half…there was a threefold decline in infant deaths…the percentage of unplanned pregnancies also declined…and as access to contraception has increased, the rate of abortion has decreased.” What’s more, it’s well-known that the Pill also ushered in the sexual revolution. Women finally felt able to to more fully explore their sexuality and enjoy sex for pleasure, without worrying as much about baby-making. Seems like the Pill has a laundry list of accomplishments to be lauded for. But fifty years after a generation of women was given the chance to exert more control over their bodies and well-being, the picture isn’t as rosy as some doctors, drug companies or even your best friend who swears by her prescription, would have you believe…

Take me, and I'll make all your worries go away. Or will I?

 

I recently had a falling out with the Pill, after having been on it for just under three years. My only other experience with the drug had been in high school, when a doctor had suggested I go on it to “regulate my periods.” Of course, what it really did was make me insanely moody and make it easier for me to gain more than 20 pounds. (Side note: Many women are told to go on the Pill to “regulate their periods.” But you’re not actually having your period when you’re on the Pill. Instead, the week or four days of sugar pills causes a rapid decline in synthetic hormones, resulting in a ‘withdrawal bleed,’ which resembles a period but is not actually a menstrual period. The feature was built into how the drug works because researchers thought women would freak out or be confused if they didn’t have a “period” once a month. Sadly, I think a lot of women really aren’t aware of this.)

At any rate, when I was 23, both my gynecologist and endocrinologist agreed that a low-dose oral contraceptive would be the best bet, as I was most concerned about weight gain. I started taking the most popular low-dose brand, made with the synthetic progestin drospirenone and a synthetic estrogen, ethinyl estradiol. The first year on it, I felt OK. I didn’t gain weight; I was actually able to lose on it! I had a wonderful boyfriend, I got a new job. I told my doctors, I told my friends: I was thrilled with the Pill! “Isn’t it the best?” I’d gush.  

But, after more than a couple years spent day after day after day popping the round pink tablets, I started feeling lethargic…hazy…unmotivated…sometimes gloomy…and uninspired… Uninspired to write, work out, make love, etc.—to do pretty much everything that makes life colorful and makes me vital. I wondered if it was environmental, circumstantial, emotional or what. A friend was going through the same thing, and she also happened to be on the same Pill. We wondered, What would happen if we went off? My friend stopped before me, and within two weeks, she was elated. “I feel like myself again, I am so much more motivated to workout after work, my libido’s back, I can think straight. I’m so happy!”

Little pink pills had me feeling blue... (Polaroid by Grant Hamilton, via SwissMiss.com)

 

So, this past November, I followed suit, and within a month or so, I knew exactly what she meant. I was happy, too…but I was also angry. Why hadn’t I realized that the Pill could wreak so much havoc on my overall wellness? When doctors happily handed over free samples of the drug, why didn’t they tell me that it could cause “long-term problems from low values of ‘unbound’ testosterone, potentially leading to continuing sexual, metabolic, and mental health consequences”? It only takes two seconds to explain that the fake estrogen in the oral contraceptive Pill elevates levels of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG), a  protein that binds testosterone, rendering it unavailable for a woman’s physiologic needs… It would helpful to know that the Pill alters at least 150 bodily functions and affects all your organs. (By the way, after my three year stint on the Pill, a recent ultrasound showed that I have gallstones. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not.) I would have liked to know that all Pills “can have negative repercussions on mood as they stop ovulation, flatten natural hormone fluctuations to create a very low unchanging level, produce a deficiency in B vitamins and meddle with the workings of the pituitary gland,” according to one brilliant woman’s story that bears a striking resemblance to mine and was published last week in The Independent. But, no, why would a woman need to know this? Isn’t it better that she just take her Pill every day like a good girl to avoid getting pregnant? Because we should be much more concerned with unwanted pregnancies than chronically low sexual desire, nutritional deficiencies, digestive troubles or living in a mental fog…

Illustrative of how I felt after going off of the Pill...

 

I beg to differ. Granted, my boyfriend and I are nowhere close to being ready for parenthood. But the Pill isn’t my only ticket to a few more years of childless-ness. There are two appealing options that won’t screw with my brain or my libido: Paragard, the copper T non-hormonal IUD and condoms. Now that I know how synthetic hormones work to throw my body’s inner balance completely askew, there’s no looking back. I’m not interested in going on the Pill again, and I made that point loud and clear to all of my doctors. I’ve done my homework, and I’m taking full responsibility for my own sexual health and overall well-being. I’m thrilled again—about making a well-informed decision and choosing which risks I’m willing to take in order to be my most vital, libidinous and creative self. As the Pill turns 50, I hope that other women are celebrate their right to do research, ask their health providers all of their questions, then have the choice and the access to whichever contraceptive method (yes, even if that’s the Pill they’ve been on for years and love) works best with their own inner balance and for their own personal needs. That’s what today’s sexual revolution should look like, after all, right?

Further reading I highly recommend: Time Magazine‘s article on the most recent study to find a link between low sex drive and the Pill (no way!), Dr. Christiane Northrup’s recent HuffPo story and one Frisky writer’s low-down on the side effects of her non-hormonal IUD. More information on the dangers of birth control pills, written by Erika Schwartz, M.D.

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